Honestly, I wake up some mornings and still wonder why I am in Kenya... or, Connecticut. Then the Lord reminds me that there are still people that don't know Christ. What is it to know? What is it to believe? I learn more about what this means everyday. And, there will never be a point where I'll sit back and say I know everything about what it is to know and believe in Christ. It's hopefully a daily progression.
I don't think I even realized what it means to take up His cross until I came to Kenya. I'm still relatively young, and I have had modern conveniences my entire life. Joel and I were skyping with my grandparents a few weeks ago and I was telling them how it takes me two to three hours to wash my clothes via buckets. And, they promptly replied "I remember doing that." I still remember the first day here that I did my laundry. I pretty much stared at three buckets deciding one was for detergent and two were for rinsing. Then I plunged my arms into the suds of bucket number one and tried to imitate a washing machine agitator. When I got tired of that I tried mimicking the tumbling of a high efficiency wash machine. I also laughed to myself thinking wash machines take close to an hour to finish their cycle. Forget that! I just want my clothes to be passable not impeccable!
Another reminder that I'm still young and a new wife is the kitchen. Kenya does not have a lot of the grocery shelf items that my local CT store has. So when you get a craving for things like sweets and potato chips you'll have to make them yourself. One night I was busy trying to finish our newsletter and processing accounting items for Capstone, and I got a terrible craving for something sweet. I thought... "I'll just make a cake!" Since there's seldom cake in a box in the grocery store, I started making a cake from scratch. Did you know that making a cake from scratch for the first time in your life with homemade icing can take about 2 hours? That was a pretty late night, but the cake was a success! ...The icing a failure. I am also now a pro at baking potato chips! The thought of making potato chips never even crossed my mind before this adventure.
There's also small battles here that make life a little more difficult, like the power went out last night before dinner was done. And, the water stopped on the day that I was planning on another laundry adventure. As little frustrations mount, as fear of this new place still lingers, and homesickness grows, I really can get worn down. But, every time I'm at my lowest point the Lord carries me.
"Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you."